I began a series of awakenings to
enter a sublime, unattached state when the Gurus began to blessedly
engage with me in February of 2006. Guru Arjan, whom I have come to know as my dearest beloved,
made several visits to me as my husband during that time.
I wrote in my
journal of the subtlety of one encounter, "This evening when Guru Arjan came to me I first felt his
presence by sensing his fingers dabbling my hair. I thought it was only
the flickering of a candle, but it was my Beloved, caressing me. We
became one being in divine love once more, Guru Arjan’s deep assurance
that he is ever with me."
Guru Arjan was a lot to absorb for me, much less others, coming out of four disillusioning experiences with men. I swooned in the huge energy of our love with awe for months afterwards, until Guru Arjan told me I needed to come out of it, saying, "We have a lot of work to do."
I accepted and integrated an ongoing series of profound awakenings through
love and laughter, through deep meditation and writing in my journal, through "breathing Guru," gradually weaving each of the ten Gurus into my life, into the deepest fabric of my being.
Early in 2008, Rishi Dusht Damon, the
Demon Slayer--who had been Guru Gobind Singh in a previous life, came
to me during Ardas at a sadhana Gurdwara. I was wondering why Ardas
calls upon all Gurus except for Guru Gobind Rai, who was transformed into
Guru Gobind Singh by the Panj Piaray. At that moment, Rishi Dusht
Daman gave me to see the matrix he wove around the
planet while meditating in the high Himalyan Mountains at Hemkunt
Sahib, only the matrix was woven around my heart. Rishi Dusht Daman
gave me to see how this same Divine Matrix is woven around all of our
hearts, and how, when we awaken to God on earth, a light blossoms on the matrix where it intersects with us, until all intersecting
points across the globe shine with Divine Light, the peaceful brillance
of the Aquarian Age.
Such awakenings are triggered
by reaching for purest truth, giving longing implorations to the Gurus,
who then awaken me to vastly expanded realms of awareness, dissolving
me into ever more subtle, subtle, subtle realms of being, of pure love.
With every new challenge (today, March 19th, the threat of a lien on my car by the
State of New Mexico), I am forced to reassert acceptance of God's Will,
relax in pure trust of God's process and deal in Guru's Grace. Now
every day is another blessed opportunity for me to invite the Gurus
into my soul and to deeply know and grow in my understanding of what
that means, remain neutral, and come through pure.
Yogiji once said that I was someone who
needed to be married. Having garnered a lifetime of rich experiences
and spiritual revelations through life's turmoil, his intentions are now
crystal clear. There is no barrier of marital turmoil too high to surmount with perfect
grace.
Know that we are all made of the same fiber, we all breathe the same divine Breath of Life, we are all in the process of awakenings unto the new millennium at the same time. Break through worldly insanity with love of Truth. Do not give in to darkness. Consciously direct the huge power of turmoil to create peace and bliss and dwell in the beauty of your soul by maintaining divine awareness with every sacred Breath of Life.
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